G.O. Brixley was born on the 1st of May in *date unknown*. His parents Lady Brixley and Lord Brixley Sr. sent him to boarding school where he escaped and became a deck hand under the alias Ptolemy Cheese. Brixley yearned for more and soon thereafter made it to Omsk where he ran errands for an opium dealer named Lev Tolstoy. After an incident where Brixley accidentally called Lev ‘ToyStory 2’ he fled to Montenegro where he met his future editor J.R.Bingham. After publishing numerous articles under the pseudonym ‘Unknown’, Brixley’s popularity grew. Now in his Autumn years Brixley has waged war against his old school nemeses Oxford, Webster and Roget. Will Brixley attend the cocktail benefit? Will he submit his article on pre-colonial conceptions of post-colonialism? Will he skillfully dodge his arch nemeses? Will he get the 72 Pinot Noir or the 84 Vintage Mumm? How will he get his Italian leather shoes back from the Japanese Ambassador? All this and more or less.